Nursing is Sucking the life out of me

I am an LPN at a Long Term Care facility. I took this job, because I did not want to work at our local hospital and that no other place was hiring in our area and the surrounding areas. I needed the money, because my car was falling apart, I’m getting married in the spring and I just miss having money. Well in most aspects my job is wonderful. I enjoy working with the elderly, and you really get to know your residents. However I feel depressed and very anxious before coming to work. Which doctor is going to call today to bitch me out? Who is dying on my wing? What kind of emergency is going to happen today? Is there going to be a new admit? Am I going to have to stay over for another 4 or 8 hours unexpectedly? All these things factor into my day; before, during and after my shift. My job is not just my job, I have to worry about what the CENA’s are doing, answering the phone, taking and noting doctor’s orders, calling doctors, making appointments, drawing blood, doing treatments, doing respiratory treatments, documenting, making sure everyone is eating, keeping people stable, stocking my cart and the med rooms and making sure someone SHOWS up for the next shift. Wow my job is really just a mixture of like 10 jobs.

Lately my life is feeling less and less complete and the stress is really getting to me. I’m getting migranes, stomach pains and sleeping less. I just went full time, because I need the medical insurance, but I think the thing causing me to become ill is my job. I used to work at a Credit Union, I thought that was stressful, but I enjoyed my work, rarely worked weekends and got out ever day at 5 pm. My current job, I go in at 2pm and get out around 11pm. Sometimes I won’t get to go home, the dreaded MANDATION! Which sucks. I really don’t want to do this anymore. I didn’t care for nursing school, but I thought it would be better once I started making money. WRONG! I don’t think I’ve ever been this depressed. I have to get married and wait for my fiance to get done with school before I can change my mind. I will be leaving my place of employment soon, like in 5 months to move to where my fiance lives. I cannot find a job up where he lives unfortunately. Otherwise I would probably be doing stupid nursing up there too. I think I’ll try to get through this and go . I hope with in the next 2 years I can change my profession, maybe go into Med Tech or something less demanding.