you just gotta laugh at it all…..server/waiter

Let me tell you about the life of a restaurant server….

I’ve been workin as a restaurant server for 12 years now in those big chain restaurants (like chili’s, Outback, Cheesecake factory, Planet Hollywood, etc.) It has been good, bad, fun, and has just plain sucked many-a-times.

if you are a server, as far as your management goes, they’re not that bad, most are ok… of course there’s always that one shitty manager, who’s just a pain in the ass and no one likes. just like any job, a good boss makes it so much better or worse.

your fellow servers are what allows the restaurant biz to be an ok place to be. you have a good old time during your shifts. It’s fun to laugh about customers, talk about what we drank last night (you know you all drink…), joke with the mexican cooks, complain about the new guy who’s incompetant, or munch on food in the back while the managers aren’t lookin. yes there’s definitely those other servers you hate. those who don’t help anyone out, those that are always complaining about something, and then there’s the servers that are plain idiots but got hired anyway.

As you soon learn though through your experience as a server that PEOPLE ARE STUPID and MEAN. i think serving should be a mandatory highschool course so that everyone will understand better when they go out to eat. you’ll soon learn to hate those people who try to get stuff free. they’ll say, “Oh, I didn’t know you were going to charge me for this cheese dip.” give me a break… they’re just cheap, we all know it. You’ll get to see those people who are soo nice to you to your face and say that was the best service they’ve ever had, only to see they left you five dollars on fifty. As a server you’ll learn to HATE those people who flag you down and interrupt you while you’re busy getting an order for the table right beside them, that big party of 15 who all hand you 20 dollar bills and want you to split the check, that guy that asks you for a refill as soon as you take them their drink, that table that ignores you like you’re not even there when you greet them, or act like you don’t have anything better to do than wait 5 minutes for them to figure out what they want to order. As a server you’ll learn the basics of Lieing 101… you’ll learn to heat up coffee in the microwave and pass it off as fresh, learn to supress a yell as the scalding hot plate burns you as you give it out, learn to act friendly to those that piss you off in-order to hopefully get a good tip, and also how to blame it all on the cooks when you realize you forgot send in a table’s food.

You’ll also see that it is actually true… most of the stereotypes are real. I mean there’s always exceptions, however you’ll see that most of the time… black people don’t like to share, need extra napkins, are very needy, and tip ten percent. Mexicans order the most expensive stuff and tip a dollar per person no matter how much they ordered. Christians unfortunately don’t tip well and what’s worse is they sometimes leave those little pamplets plus a small tip… yea that’s a good witness. and you’ll also find that gay guys tip really really well, huh, who knew. they maybe tie with the other good tippers… alcoholics! however the best tippers are other servers… cause they’ve been there and they know how it is, but also because they probably fit into the alcoholics category as well.

Some tips for everyone out there… if your server gave you great service, tip atleast 15% of the bill(now if they give you bad service, rude, or stupid… by all means… leave a bad tip). And even the best servers cannot break the laws of physics…. they’re human too (when they’re getting your change for your your 8 split checks… it’s gonna take a minute or two).