I’d love to change my whole life…..Computer Software / Contract Engineer

I’m a computer software/contract engineer. I do a great job, the money is good, but the work is nothing but a stressful, tedious, demanding, boring, monotonous, mind-numbing routine that is a pain in the butt. —

I’d love to change my whole life and do something very different, but in this profession I’ve already invested 5 + 20 = 25 years of my life! Additionally, I’ve already paid a very high price to get to where I am! Should I switch and try another profession and spend another 25 years of my life to do some other routine job in another field? Life is too short and I’m running out of time! If I did that, I would pay an even higher price! I’d lose not only my 20 years of accumulated experience, but also my potential earnings for the next 5-10 years! I’d also face entrance examinations, high tuition expenses, and all sorts of unknown obstacles.

And after I’ve received the new training, I’d be in the same boat as I’m right now! Become an applicant, find a job, become an employee, an underpaid servant who has no rights except to collect his paycheck and get out to the street, if he wants to leave. —

In the meantime I’m doing a great job, doing it as well as I can, but am also feeling that I’m just wasting my life! —

I work in unattractive factory environments, mostly with guys. They’re between 30 and 50, usually unattractive and boring. And in this environment all of us are becoming more and more unattractive and boring.

From early morning to late night, day after day, about 95% of the time we do not see any daylight; it’s nothing but the flickering neon lights, as if we were in an artificial, but spacious underground tunnel or bunker with high ceilings but neither windows nor sunshine. To that picture, add a lot of noise, commotion, and distraction. To break the monotony, many of my coworkers become inconsiderate talkers; they create unneeded noise and distraction. I work with mostly depressing types who are in the same trap as myself. Regardless how well you do your job, there’s a constant threat of being late for work, and supervisors or managers showing up at my desk, all of a sudden, and they do appear all of a sudden. They’re good people, but they also call meetings and force us to agree to unreasonable deadlines that take the fun out of even the best tasks I’d normally enjoy —

I have at least three bosses at this company, so the treat is threefold. —

Is this the life I’ve always dreamed about? I don’t think so. I feel like this is not a dream job, but a labor camp, a living hell. — And at night, when I’m all stressed out, I get back to my house, and there’s nothing for me in my private life. No time for women, and no time for anyone, except maybe an hour to make a personal phone call. I have approx. 2-3 hours per day that I must use to try to recover and get ready to work the next day (i.e. I must eat, sleep, go to the cleaner’s to pick up my shirt, etc.) –

As to career change, I often feel desperate and hopeless because the clock is ticking. I’m also feeling guilty, too, because I’m the only one who can DO something about it — if only I knew what!