It’s a real business…..telephone psychic

One of the strangest jobs I’ve ever had was as a telephone psychic. It works, oddly enough, like a pyramid marketing system. You can work on the phones forever, but the real money is in management, and the more people you recruit, the more you make. The owners of this company also own a vending machine operation in Nevada…and the owner designed the web page when she was drunk.

Believe it or not, I loved this job. I enjoy reading tarot cards, and I enjoy talking to people (which is about 75% of what “psychic ability” really is). The way it works is when you’re a reader, you’re assigned an extension. You log in through an 800 number, then wait for people to call off the ads on the TV. You get paid for “talk time,” i.e. the amount of time your extension is in use, not the time you’re logged in. So you sit there all night with a deck of tarot cards, and wait for the crazies. One drunk fellow talked to me for over 15 minutes, because he liked my phone voice.

The down side was that people often hang up on you after a minute or two, and you find you have a prepared speech, in answer to the “Is this stuff for real?” question which is the one they ask most often. And some people that you talk to need psychiatrists, not psychics, so it can get emotionally draining. The other problem I had was the hours I had to spend by the phone; for every 60 hours of time you’re logged in, you’re lucky if you talk for 10 hours, and there’s a lot of paperwork involved with keeping track. I had another job at the time, so I couldn’t put in the hours required to make any money. Unfortunately, I only lasted three weeks, but would do it again if I were ever in a position where I had nothing to do but sit by the phone with a deck of tarot cards.