I have come to hate the nursing career I was so proud of once…..nurse

hate to say it, but after 20 years as a registered nurse, I hate it.

I am so emotionally drained when my shift is over, that I run home to sit in my room and cry for at least an hour or 2 before I can relate to my poor husband and children. I get a stomach ache as soon as my alarm goes off on the days I have to work, and I fight overwhelming feelings of panic during every minute of the day while I am on duty.

It was not always like this. I remember when I had time to get to know each and every one of my patients. Time to do a good assessment, and administer care in a respectful and professional manner.

Now it is not about the patients. It is about completing the 12 hours worth of tasks, chores and paper work that must be done in one 8 hour shift. I can’t even have a conversation with a patient and let them vent some of their anxiety. I can’t do a thorough assessment, so important signs and symptoms go unrecognized. I just have to do the task at hand whether it be a treatment administering meds, taking vital signs, etc. and move on to the next one. When it comes time to write charts I can’t even remember who was who.

This is not what nursing should be! The responsibility is overwhelming and the potential for making deadly errors is outstanding. I need my salary and I don’t have the money or the time to try and start over in by going back to school to plan for a new career. I want to take good care of my patients. Why won’t they let us be real nurses anymore