What’s my Job? Easy. I’m a Clown. I’m a
Clown. I say it twice ’cause everyone always says
“You’re a what????”.
I work in Ireland and have been doing Clowning for 6
years full time.
Before this I did some God AWFULL Jobs.
I went to McD’s after college and was promoted after
5 months to management. It wasn’t really difficult
to get the promotion though. The exam wouldn’t have
made Wilbur the Talking horse think twice! After 5
years in the company I had recieved the following;
1000’s of Burns.
100’s of death threats from junkies I wouldn’t let
into the toilets (I’m not Kidding!).
Ten’s of thousands of customers saying that they are
right and what they want is what they should get.
(Not in the real world mate!).
Enough zits to get a Clearasil sponsorship!.
About 3pounds of red meat in my Colon.
3 broken toes. (I forget how)
1 fractured elbow (A drunk assaulted me)
1 1inch stab wound under my left nipple (Same
fucking drunk! And he was caught but never sent to
I stayed out of habit but also ’cause I loved
working with kids. It’s such a pain in the ass that
perverts have made male child care taboo. We were
told not to ever touch the kids (Not even to pick
them up if they fell down!!!)
One day a customer saw me at a children’s party in
the restaurant and rang me the next week with a job
He thought I was so good with the kids he wanted me
to be the Character Clown for his company (I was too
skinny and young to be Ronald McD!). He paid me more
in 2 days than I earned in a Month at McDonalds. I
was so outta McDonalds you could hear the sonic boom
I love where I am now!
I work when I want. I’m my own boss. My hobby is my
job. I just got married to a woman who is so
supportive she could give Atlas the day off.Over the
past 6 years I have learned so much that I can get
paid anything up to Â£500 per day ($750-$800)!!!!!
I meet so many nice people and kids that things feel
right with the world.
I hate rude and ignorant kids but 9 times outta ten
it’s the parents fault so you can’t blame them!
Getting up early in the afternoon is cool
My advice is never do anything that makes you
unhappy. If you love something enough then go for
it. Make it your career. If you die penniless on the
streets then at least you lived your life as you
wanted , not how someone wanted you to live it!
In 5 or even a million years from now I hope I’m
still doing what I do today!
What else might be interesting about me?
I can say the alphabet backwards in less than 3
I can clap with 1 hand!(Meditators Nightmare )
I can move my eyes independantly of each other.
I have the largest collection of trivia , jokes and
songs in my head than anyone I’ve ever met!
I’m 6ft tall except on telivision
Take what you want, give all you can , live for
youself , teach all you know and never stop learning
because every day has a new lesson in it if you open
your eyes and see.