No Escape from the Nursing Profession

I have been a nurse in a level one trauma center’s ER for seven months now and feel worthless and abused every day. I went to a prestigious nursing school for my Bachelor’s degree, have thousands of dollars in loans, all to feel like a waitress who is constantly degraded, humiliated, and yelled at every day.

First of all, the patients suck. They come in for fucking nothing and the doctors practice defensive medicine and order CT and MRI scans on every one of them. So for the seven hours they are there bitching at me. I have patients who are really sick and dying or coding. And when I ask the doctor over and over for meds because the drug seeking pt is there for six hours only getting narcotics. I hate myself. I cry almost every day now, and I feel like a piece of shit for hating my patients and the hospital. I used to be a bleeding heart, and now I just feel alone and unhappy.

The hours suck, and I never see my friends. I hate people on the street who are smiling and laughing on their lunch breaks, because I don’t get a break from the twelve hours of hell that I endure. The only good part of my job is my day off. I had a needle stick yesterday and was so upset, all I could think was I don’t even want to be here. Fuck this. And I had to be a patient and be on the board for everyone to see while working! We had two traumas while I was forced to be in the middle of having blood drawn and working. I want to quit. Reading others stories really made me feel like I can. This is hell!!!! I want to work with puppies or something. anything else.