Woolworths Work Experience is not too Great

I work for a mob called Woolworths, or Woolies (roughly the equivalent of the American Wal-Mart.) More specifically, I work in the deli. Good Fun. We get to slice and dice all manner of processed goods, shove them in a bowl and sell them to unhappy customers.
It’s not too bad a job, it probably beats Maccas or Dominos, but it isn’t as glorious as it may appear.

Starting From The Top: First there’s management. Stuck-up, obnoxious dickheads who care more for the quick buck than for keeping their staff members alive. If we need 3 people to cover for a certain day, they’ll be sure to pay 1 and bitch about them not doing the job well enough. If we need something (ie cleaning liquid, paper towel, an intelligent person to talk to) they’ll be sure to deny it. If we need to take a dump, they’ll be sure to see that we have no TP. Wankers the lot of them.

Coworkers: Coworkers are the only thing keeping me sane through the tedious 3 hour shifts I get (seriously, 3 hours! What is the point of a 3 hour shift?!) We can talk and joke and piss off customers and scare them, until the customers complain and the managers shit on us for trying not to go mad. Playing with knives and balls of glad wrap are amazingly entertaining, and cause the customers no end of distress.

Customers are the worst part of the job. They bitch and moan no matter what you do for them:- yes sir, no sir, suck your dick sir, and they still aren’t bloody satisfied. More than half the time we want them to slip over in the puddle on the lino and break their ugly malformed necks. Smile and nod and visualise them with a butcher knife in their back as they turn away.

The stuff we sell is possibly the foulest stuff you could buy to eat. Ham that comes in a tube is not ham by my books. It’s always either dry as a dead dingo’s donger or slimier than a frenchman at a sweet sixteenth. Cleaning the chicken shit out of the oven is the most envied job because it means there is no human contact (if indeed these customers are human) and you can just do the job and ignore the shittyness of the rest of the place. It also means its nearly closing time and therefore nearly home time.

If you have no other options, it’s an alright job in that it does pay well and you meet some interesting characters, some of which you may be better for not having met.