I cry when i get home….I am so unhappy with my new nursing job

Being on Orientation as a new nurse is tough. I see everyone around me and they all look so peaceful and happy. Everyone knows whats going on…except me. Sometimes i think that working in a neonatal ICU as a new grad just isnt for me. Nursing school was’nt this hard.
My nurse manager called me into a meeting and in so many words jsut told me that i have 2 weeks to take on a full heavy load of patients by myself and that if i am not able to handle it that i will have to maybe leave or be fired. This all started when i began having problems with my preceptor and had her changed. Now im in meeting every week to see how i am doing. i hate being under the spot light and no matter how hard i try its never enough. I am fast enough (although all the nurses around me are doing the same tings at the same time) i am not good enough.
I just dont know what to do anymore, i feel like quitting so bad. I really think that i am going to meet with my nurse manager and tell her that this isnt working out for me and that maybe i should be transfered. needless to say i have only been there less then 2 months, 3 days a week. 12 hours a day.


Old Comments:

  1. I am not in orientation.. i still have one yr left of nsg school.. but im doing an externship in nyc .. dont wanna say the name but its a very prestigious cancer center... im on a very difficult floor but im getting the hang of it.. except, my preceptor is terrible... just an awful person!! i cry every day while im there (in the bathroom) and then when i get home.. and i can hardly enjoy my days off b/c im counting down the hours till i have to be there again!!! i dont know what to do!!!!! i dont want to make waves there... im new and still feel very awkward there. she just does NOT like me.. i try small talk w/ her she barely talks back.. but seconds later will walk over to other people (RN's) and tell them everything that I was just asking about.. im not on her level i guess.. she treats me like im an idiot.. my very first day she asked me a trick med-math question.... she's moody, she treats me like im her gopher.. made me go down to get her some soup she wanted.. and gave me practically ALL change to pay for it.. ANDDDDDDDDD short changed me... i just dread going in every time i have to.. and i really need some advice... !!! it's making me HATE HATE HATE nursing now.. i dont know what to do please somebody help, aghhhh!!!!
  2. Why not just quit and find a better job while you are still young. Please, for your own sanity, QUIT NOW. I could care less if ALL the nurses quit! I HATE THE JOB WITH A PASSION!!!!!!!!!!! I quit while I was still in nursing school and have never looked back. They bEGGED me to stay, because I was a great student - "one of the good ones" they told me. They ran me off! I have NEVER regretted my decision to quit. There is a reason why there is a shortage!
  3. The same thing happened to me with my first nursing job (med-surg unit, nasty preceptor who wanted me to hurry up, then called a meeting to put me on the hot seat with management). Do not feel bad in any way. You are doing your best and you do not want to hurt anyone. If only others had patient safety in mind as you do. Experience has taught me that most, if not all, of those peaceful, happy nurses you see on the unit appear that way because they are cutting corners. It is not possible to do the work properly with the current conditions of understaffing, etc. I would get out of nursing and find something that will give you job satisfaction, peace of mind, and allow you to keep your sanity. That is what I finally did after four years as a R.N. and I have never regretted it!
  4. I am also doing my preceptorship, and I feel the same way! I went into emergency and I liked it at first, but I'm at a point where I just want to quit and leave the whole field! Too bad I just spent so much money to get this far in school! People treat me like crap, and no matter how hard I try to be helpful and hard-working, I am constantly treated like I'm in the way. Not only that, but I guess because of the economy, people are afraid to lose their jobs, so when they mess things up, they blame it on me! I have been accused of horrible things that I didn't do and my words have been twisted and used against me. I cry and feel depressed every day and I dread even waking up in the morning. I feel like I should be learning so much and becoming more confident in what I'm doing, but instead, they are just stripping away my confidence and morale and making me hate the work and I don't even graduate for another 2 months! I have no idea how to get through this without totally breaking down, but it makes me feel a little better to know that somewhere out there, there are people struggling in the same ways I am. I feel very alone in the world right now, but I think if we make it through this, we can go on to find a place in our field that we belong... because they ARE out there. Just because our preceptor sucks doesn't mean everybody sucks! Let's just keep on keepin on, eh?
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