I’m a nervous wreck of anxiety….new nursing grad

I’m a new grad and been working seven months. Here is my experience with it, so far. I’m not saying I hate it. I don’t even know where to begin.

I’ve been a nervous wreck since I started this career. I’ve been told that the first year is always the hardest. Before coming to work or when I know I’m coming to work, I always get this nauseous feeling. I don’t even want to eat. Nurses that have been there longer tell me that it goes away in about a year and a half. I still have it, but it’s getting better. I still have episodes of anxiety every now and then. Let me tell you about the sleep deprivation: I work nights (7a-7p) and my sleeping pattern is a mess. Even on my days off I can’t sleep at night. I usually end up sleeping between 3-6 am and get up around 7am. Like today, I got up at 7 am and I couldn’t get back to sleep. I sleep between 9pm-11pm sometimes, when I’m really tired. When I do fall asleep at 9pm, I wake up at 3am – it’s as if my body thinks I’m still at work.

Every time I come to work I worry about what’s going to happen and who is going to get mad at me that day. When I leave I worry about what I might have forgotten & if I’ll get in trouble and I can’t sleep. Some nurses that I’ve opened up to about this, tell me that they still feel that way after 20 years. Who in their right mind would like to feel this way every time they come to work for 10-20 years? I have a lot of respect for those who hang in there, someone has to do it.

I am so relieved when my days off are coming near and when I think about having to work the next day I feel like I’m going to throw up. I’ve had some good days and bad. I’ve had those days where I just want to rip my hair out. Those ER admits throw me off and I’ve had some family members treat me like I’m a waitress. It’s a good thing I can ask for help when I need it. I’ve also had those days where I couldn’t even go to the bathroom or being so hungry that I shake.

I work at a sub intensive unit. After my probation is over, I’m going to ask for a transfer to a different unit. Maybe it’s because I’m new and inexperienced. Everyday I’m faced with a new situation. I’m always unsure of myself, so I have to be extra careful. As a new grad, they try to give me the most stable or lightest assignment, but in this unit no patient can be considered light. You never know what will happen to them, one minute they’re fine and the next minute they can crash. The stress level is too high. I think need to start taking something for anxiety. I can’t take another day of this.

I’m glad this site is here so I can vent and share my feelings about this. I don’t feel comfortable with sharing this with anyone at work because people talk. After reading all these posts about nursing it feels better knowing that I’m not alone. I noticed that the most posts come from people that work in nursing and McDonalds.

Uncategorized






Old Comments:

  1. "I work nights on a med-surge unit. Sometimes, the only nurses on the floor are an LPN, the charge RN, and me! ME, who feels as if I know nothing yet."

    That's because you probably don't know anything yet. If you are smart, you'll learn from those experienced LPNs. Believe it or not, they are just as skilled as the RNs and often a helluva lot more experience.
  2. I am a new nurse on a neonatal ICU and it has been hell. i feel so incompetant and just when i feel like i go the hang of something theres my preceptor or Nurse manager telling me i doing something wrong or i could do better. i want to transfer and i dont think i will make it a year. i dont even think i will make it through this 14week orientation, my heart isnt in it. but is it wise to leave before i find a new job?
  3. I think you should talk to human resources and start at a lower level of nursing. Work on a pediatric floor or something before tackling intensive care.
  4. Dear Nervous,

    I believe any job is nerve racking to some degree when you are the new kid on the block. One thing that was helpfull to me 18 years ago when I first became a nurse was keeping a journal. List the things that your worried about in your patient skill set and then pick one at a time to improve upon it. Next, make a list of what you were satisfied with each day. In short order more positives will begin to appear.

    Nursing is a wonderful profession with some unique problems. I truly believe that you can not make other peoples problems your own and by keeping in mind we are there to improve the heath those we serve you will receive more then you ever give.

    Sincerely,

    A bedside staff nurse of 18 years!
  5. It sounds like you are not taking care of your most important patient- YOURSELF

    Not eating well, not resting - remember the long term effects of cortisol overload? Stress. Develop a nursing care plan for yourself. Take relaxing hot baths before bed. Exercise if your doctor allows it. Also, make sure you take your vitamins and eat small healthy snacks (yogurt, an apple, granola bar). Stock your locker and duck in once in a while for a 2 minute mini vacation. Eat in the bathroom if you have to but don't let your Blood Glucose drop to the level where you shake. (I have inhaled plenty of mini-meals) B-complex vitamins are depleted by stress. Remember, a depletion in B vits is what makes your CNS allow you to "feel" anxiety. So you are probably running really low. The body needs balance, it took me awhile to realize I can't be my best if I feel my worst.

    Also, please don't turn to substances, I am sure you have seen the long (and short) term effects. They are never good, especially for nurses.
  6. Nursing sucks. Good nurses don't last. The best nurses I know leave the profession because they did not enter the profession to be abused or to kiss doctor and management ass. The ones who remain play the game. which is lie lie lie , deny deny dey , until you die die die. In fact they often fool them selves because they have to protect their own egos. They take on the sick mentality of our warped healthcare system. & I use the term healthcare system loosely, its really is a sick care system. We do nothing to promote healthy lifestyles and then offer the magic pill when the grim reaper appears. Sure you life will be extended but you will live in misery with the complications. Meanwhile back at the ranch big daddy is counting his money & it's never enough. And when I say Big Daddy I mean the pharmaceutical companies, the medical devise companies, the hospitals the doctors & every other animal that is in it for their own gain & does not give a dam about the patient who is also know as the liability.
    So document girls because if you didn't document it you didn't do it.
    Oh yes & if you turn it around if you document it you did it, which basically means you can sit on you ass do nothing collect you salary and long as you good at documentation which is what nursing has now boiled down to you can keep your job. The reason the hospital does not provide enough staff is because they don't give a shit. But as soon as something is wrong with a document they call you on the carpet for it. If a patient dies due to something you did wrong they will cover for you because they can also be held liable and this would not be good for business. As far as the hospital is concerned documentation is key and do-gooders with a conscious are a problem. So get with the game forget about the patient and start writing, who knows maybe you could bang out a few novels while on the clock.
  7. I love the nurse who says take care of you. Typical rhetoric. Do you live in LA LA LAND it must be nice there or maybe you're just in management? I am a surgical technologist & can only eat when I am given a break, sometimes that doesn't happen. Should I report this it would just mean loosing this stupid job. But do you care if I am treated like a human being, of course not I'm just a tech aka UAP. I want to thank you and others like you who play the game and treat techs and other people who you supervise in this condescending way. No I don't hate nurses if I am saddened about my situation I can call several of my friends who are nurses and they will understand. But they will not hand me a line of shit like report it, or take care of yourself because they know the real deal. The only solution is to get out & that is what I am doing.
    Because the nurses who really care don't lie, they know it's a dead end they have witnessed the torment I have endured and had to remain silent because no one listens to the unlicensed assistive personal. We are not allowed a voice and in that sense we are the unsung heroes. I think nurses endue the same degradation but on a different level, I know the grass is not greener on the other side. I would also like you to know that I have an associate degree in surgical technology but hospitals continue to train housekeeping and other assistive personal for these jobs ensuring that patients don't get the appropriate service they deserve. They cannot learn in 5 weeks what it took me 2 years to get at a top rate 2 year associate degree program. But they get the same salary and they really are in the dark in regard to knowledge.
  8. Just do the best you can,and say screw the rest.It does not get any better.Just pay your bills.I wish everyone around me in the hospital would call in.The more confussion the better.I would just take my time.I have been an RN for 13 years.During that time I just woke up.My hospital is the WALMART of healthcare.Plus,I work other nursing gigs.They are just that gigs.Screw meetings,pissed off coworkers,asshle managers, tons of paper work,etc.Let go ,and rock on!JUST LAUGH it's just business.I just look forward to getting off ,and leaving it all behind.
  9. I have to say that I agree with much of that. Like the author, I started in ICU. As a "SNE" PRN job in the summer I got to work once a week with some night nurses who were nothing less than patently hostile. They also were hostile to half the nurses on the floor - talking and trashing them. (as a second career nurse from a business environment I was simply shocked). Instead of orienting me, they chose to do all they could to undermine my confidence, refuse to show me anything, use me as a gopher, and then complain about anything I ever did wrong to the clinical director. If I told you some of the things they did you would probably think I was making it up. Here's an example. One night one of them brought in a bag of chips which was open and on the kitchen table which to me meant it was fair game. I think I hand a single handful. By the time I got back from running some labs, they had posted signs all over the unit to the "rude person" who had eaten all their food.

    When I finally got moved to day shift once a week, I was bounced around 3-4x to some nurses working 3 patients each that didn't want the hassle of having a student and would just ignore me. When I finally got the (last) one who actually WAS going to have me do real student nurse role, she was furious I of course dind't know how to chart to unit standards, et al. She then went and compalined to the the clinical director that I was some little moron who for "all the time" I'd been on the unit, I didn't know how to do any of the things the night nurses wouldn't show me , such as say how often they did pulmonary assessments (and got mad when I persisted). The clinical director promptly blamed me for everthing. Surely that was the easist thing to do, and she's "never" had personnel problems on her two units before this (yet somehow she has about 40% or higher turnover rates on at leaset one of them the past year).


    After I finally graduated less than two weeks into orientation apparently I didn't hold a catheter exactly so in an IV training excercise. The clinical educator said nothing to me and then went and sent a nasty email about it to my clinical director. With the above as background, she promptly tossed me off the unit. So I had to go through general company orientation not even knowing what unit I would be on. She also wouldn't let me do any more clinical hours because once I wasn't going to be on the unit she wasn't going to waste a dime of her precious budget on me. (whereas as a new grad surely I was loaded and didn't need the money).

    All of this is true with God as my witness.

    Gee, and you wonder why you have trouble getting nurses to stay in the industry? I'm thinking of doing something for better pay and less stress: like minesweeping or air traffic control.

    A pox to those of you experienced nurses that treat new ones like this. And you wonder why the President is bringing in Phillipina's to replace you? It's NOT just that they're cheaper - they're far far more professional; they don't play these games.
    Understand I'm saying this as a business-savvy second-career nurse with a successful previous career. I ain't a kid.
  10. Quote:
    Originally posted by NewNurse
    I couldn't have said it better myself. I have been an RN for only 2 months and feel everything that you are feeling. I work nights on a med-surge unit. Sometimes, the only nurses on the floor are an LPN, the charge RN, and me! ME, who feels as if I know nothing yet. How is that safe for patients? I really don't think that the hospital cares, as long as there is a "nurse" there. I go in to work not only wondering who will get mad at me today, but what skill will I have to do that I have never done, or how many times will I have to stick to get the IV started on a 90 year old with leather skin? Can I get all this rediculous amount of charting done before everything falls apart at 0700 a.m. and I am so tired I can't even think anymore? I don't even feel like a nurse yet, I feel like a fraud. I'm tired of being treated like crap and the attitude from the patients' families. My sleeping patterns are beyond screwed up from working nights. On my days off, I sleep all day and get nothing accomplished. My apartment is a mess, my bills are late, I am disorganized, almost don't even want to see my friends. My days off are beyond precious! I am so depressed, I don't even have the desire to shop with my "big" nursing paycheck. I never thought I would see the day that I was too depressed to shop. My job is awful. I want to leave and find something else already, but at the same time, I would like to stay a year for experience. I hope I can stand it. I hope maybe clinic work would be better....hell, I may go be a cruise ship nurse. I have never hated a job in this way before. I am not myself lately.
    Don't stay at that sucky job! I worked a job like that for a month before I'd had enough! I worked the night shift, too. It is hell on your body...I had never felt so unhealthy as when I had that job. I quit and had no job lined up. But I just couldn't stand it. I found a better job 2 weeks later. And you don't need a year of hospital experience for every nursing job. Go work in a Dr's office or something...they just want to know if you can give shots. Remember, life is short....do you want to live it being miserable???
  11. My first week as a LPN was horrible. I worked thru a agency while in school as a CENA, so they kept me on after graduation. I thought that homecare was going to be more personal and less stressful. Wow was I wrong! My patient was a teenage nightmere. She swore, called me names, watched me like a hawk, and criticized that I stayed firmly to sterile technique.
    The family was set to sue anyone at any moment, and confronted staff constantly. The young girl also had a touch of dishonesty, which made it worse. I plan to apply to a nursing home, to get back to what I know, but I am sure that will present me with a whole new set of problems too. Why did I go into nursing?
  12. I swear that in that one post you summarized my feelings exactly, especially in regards to that sick feeling you get in your stomach, not eating for 12 hours, pt's family members treating you like a waitress and dreading your job prior to going in. Let me tell you, I worked at McDonalds when I was in my teen years and for 1.5 of the 3 years I worked there I was a manager. McDonalds was actually better than nursing! In Canada, new nurses make approx $24.00/hour and when I was a manager at McDonalds I made $10/hour. I had responsibility, but not the same responsibility associated with nursing, nor did I need an undergrad to work at McDonalds. McDonalds also gave me the shifts I wanted and scheduled me according to my school schedule and took into account my life outside of work. Nursing DOESN'T and I Don't think it ever will. I work on a gen surgery floor and I feel like I'm drowning. My 12 hour shifts turn into 14 hour shifts and I want to throw myself out of a window before too long. I've had several breakdowns (3) at work and I've only been working 3 months. That's a breakdown a month! My unit has no resources for new nurses and I feel like I've given my life away by getting my license. I feel your pain and wish you the best in the future. Maybe you can go into a different profession or something later on. Get out of nursing. I know I will.
  13. Quote:
    Originally posted by Unregistered
    Nursing sucks. Good nurses don't last. The best nurses I know leave the profession because they did not enter the profession to be abused or to kiss doctor and management ass. The ones who remain play the game. which is lie lie lie , deny deny dey , until you die die die. In fact they often fool them selves because they have to protect their own egos. They take on the sick mentality of our warped healthcare system. & I use the term healthcare system loosely, its really is a sick care system. We do nothing to promote healthy lifestyles and then offer the magic pill when the grim reaper appears. Sure you life will be extended but you will live in misery with the complications. Meanwhile back at the ranch big daddy is counting his money & it's never enough. And when I say Big Daddy I mean the pharmaceutical companies, the medical devise companies, the hospitals the doctors & every other animal that is in it for their own gain & does not give a dam about the patient who is also know as the liability.
    So document girls because if you didn't document it you didn't do it.
    Oh yes & if you turn it around if you document it you did it, which basically means you can sit on you ass do nothing collect you salary and long as you good at documentation which is what nursing has now boiled down to you can keep your job. The reason the hospital does not provide enough staff is because they don't give a shit. But as soon as something is wrong with a document they call you on the carpet for it. If a patient dies due to something you did wrong they will cover for you because they can also be held liable and this would not be good for business. As far as the hospital is concerned documentation is key and do-gooders with a conscious are a problem. So get with the game forget about the patient and start writing, who knows maybe you could bang out a few novels while on the clock.
    Excellent. You are an excellent writer - need some spell check but I hope you post more!
  14. im also a nursing grad...i have not taken my board exams yet, but i wish i wont pass the board, this NURSING is like hell for me!
  15. I'm about to graduate from nursing school and it has been hell. I hate the paperwork, I hate the politics, I hate the stress, I hate being treated like I'm a junior high school hoodlum who just can't wait to cheat or slack off. But one thing I like that keeps me interested in nursing is the patient care. Some of the patients are a pain but most of them are really nice sick people who are embarrassingly grateful for the little things you do for them.

    Hopefully nursing will be better than nursing school? At least I won't have to do all this homework. Also I work at a place that is union so I don't have some of the management problems that non-union hospitals have (although of course the union comes with its own set of issues!)
  16. All you new grads and to be grads need to get the hell out of this crappy "profession".. We eat our young?....well I'm trying to spare you from it all.... it is not worth it.
  17. woooohhh! too much sentiments here...why not view it a different way?
  18. Just got off work... so my sentiments are the same. If I could do it over again....it wouldn't be nursing. ALTHOUGH...... it is a good job if you only want to do it once a week for 8 hours or so for some extra cash..... but fulltime.... forget it.
  19. I am an LPN and have been for almost 3 years. When I went to school I was optimistic and totally into the nursing field. I graduated the top of my class after studying night and day. I had soo much hope. I had been a CNA for 8 years, Previously I had been going for my RN and got pregnant for my 4 yr old. So like a dumb ass dropped and went for my LPN. I have been through 4 facilities and one M.D. office in 3 yrs. At first I thought that, that was a lot but after my adventures I've met other nurses doing the same thing. I am overly disgusted with the nursing field. The politics suck, every nurse is out to get the next nurse. They eat each other for god sakes. We don't get breaks and yet we are pushed to our limits medicating,treatments, and orders, charting on 43 residents. Babysitting CNA's cuz god knows 90% of them don't really care( well at least the ones that I have to watch). Then if you complain you could loose your job, or get moved. Lets not forget about floating where you now know no one. My unit manager was my best friend haha when I decided to take a position at an assisted living facility she started really crapping on me. I went per diem @ my fultime job and have been awaiting the opening @ the new place, soo I have had to pick up hours @ my old job. My RN "best friend" took me from charge nurse to med nurse( whatever,) But after running the floor by myself for months to give another per diem nurse my spot out of spite come on. Then NY State walks in for survey and what does she do makes me medicate an (unditressed res) so now I'm being audited. Meanwhile she turns to the new charge nurse and says " aren;t you glad that I made her go out and medicate her, you would have been watched." I find this out from the cna's that where in the dinning room listening to her. They are all alike unit managers, DON's they are shady and would step on you in a second to make themselves look better. We kill ourselves q day and get nothing but low pay and grief in return. I love what I do, when we are staffed and I can give my res time, actually assess someone without rushing. I hate the feeling of am I gonna have my job? What am I going to get into trouble for? Now that the new place is opening I am excited and also nervous, I have never worked assissted living and we are opening it so I have no idea to what I am supposed to do when I walk in the front door mon morning. so my anxiety is very high. But this is it if I hate this I will be looking for a new career. And it sucks because I love nursing, I just hate the stress and feeling like a slave. I didn't feel this way when I was an aide. What is the difference?
  20. Well, the big story is the Supreme Court. President Obama has found his nominee. She is a Federal appeals judge. Sonia Sotomayor, I think her name is. A Latino woman, how about that? So, you know what that means. Ruth Bader Ginsburg no longer the hot chick on the court." --Jay Leno"History was made today when President Obama nominated Judge Sonia Sotomayor as the first female Hispanic justice to serve in the U.S. Supreme court. Obama said this should help keep the court from leaning too far to the white." --Jimmy Fallon
  21. I went looking for posts on how to deal with the anxiety as a new grad nurse. I have been having such awful anxiety myself as a new grad cardiac telemetry nurse. I feel horrible saying this post honestly made me feel better, because why should it make me feel better that someone else feels this pain? I suppose misery does love company, but I just don't wish this feeling on myself or anyone else. Yet reading your post made me breathe a little easier, because you wrote pretty much everything I have been thinking and feeling. I was just sitting there wondering after three months of night shift cardiac telemetry nursing....I am gonna end up one of these patients with the amount of stress this job puts on people. I have been wondering as well if maybe I need to find another area that perhaps I am more passionate or feel more connected to that way it will outweigh the inevitable stresses of being a nurse. I am hoping like you, that I will see that light at the end of the year and a half tunnel and feel less of this anxiety and dread related to having to go to work. It just doesn't seem natural to feel this way when I know all I have dreamed about for the last several years was working in a career field that I truly believed in and could invest my life in. Thank you for having the courage to put this out there so other new grads like me can find and feel less alone.
  22. hello, everybody presumably does not be sure or remember me, but I recollect you ...
    I'm with you and I longing that things being what they are take oneself to be sympathize a real family. So paralysed a progress it all later to plead and demand what next ...
    regards
  23. i like the idea but i can barely find an image that will fit. i did find one that my computer says is 80x118, but the thing says its too big when i try. is there anyway for me to squash images down?
  24. Hey intelligent points.. now why didn't i think of these? Off subject barely, is that this web page sample merely from an abnormal set up or else do you employ a personalized template. I take advantage of a webpage iím seeking to improve and properly the visuals is likely one of many key things to complete on my list.
  25. Rapid weight loss without dieting and exercise with Zenslim(ЗенСлим).
    The result is guaranteed! You can lose from 3 to 7 kg, taking ZenSlim only twice a day.
  26. упражнения для укрепления мышц живота как быстро похудеть с физическими нагрузками таблица содержания в продуктах белка, бесплатно скачать фитнес для похудения а.карр - легкий способ похудеть что нужно есть чтоб похудеть, клизма для похудения с солью похудеть реально быстро и просто центр похудения технология красоты назарова, упражнения на скамье для пресса мужская диета для похудения диета при язвенной болезни желудка, бесплатно программа похудения 25 кадр самый большой и популярный сайт про диеты упражнения для похудения живота видео, диета для бедер и ног продукты для питания правильного диета при воспалении желчного пузыря, диета 9 при сахарном диабете упражнения для груди мужчин диеты для быстрого похудения рецепты, диета при язве двенадцатиперстной кишки таблетки лида для похудения слим код капсулы для похудения
  27. Hello. Del post.
  28. Rapid weight loss without dieting and exercise with Zenslim(ЗенСлим).
    The result is guaranteed! You can lose from 3 to 7 kg, taking ZenSlim only twice a day.
  29. The goal of Build a Story is to create a story together by each person adding three new words. One will start off by posting three words like "Not long ago..." and then the next person adds three more words to continue the story "Not long ago, Kevin and John...". The next person continues with another three "Not long ago, Kevin and John went scuba diving..." and it goes from there. Be sure to copy the entire story into your post when you add your three new words so we can easily read and continue the story. Lets see those writing skills Ready...whos up first?



    "Far, far away..."
  30. Hi friends, I need to know the job oportunities for AMIE Textile technology, can u help me on this?
  31. Hello guys!

    Anyone wants to meet nice plumper girl?
  32. nobody wants to answer me?
  33. protonix patient assistance program applicationprednisone birth control pillsdoxycycline liquid antibioticbactroban ointment used treatbenicar sankyobrahmi for hair growthchildren's acetaminophen recall 2010allopurinol for hyperuricemiarogaine dandruffwhat is ic sulfamethoxazolewhat is levothyroxine synthroid meant to treattrimethoprim liquid mediaoverdose etoposidenizoral ketoconazole shampoocephalexin dosing childrenaccutane crohn'sprilosec otc couponwhat is ondansetron hydrochloride used foreffects alcohol and zithromaxomeprazole pharmacokinetics cyp2c19 genotype
  34. article rewriter
  35. Jimmy Kimmel's lacerating dissection of the industry has become an annual highlight of the week when television's biggest networks reveal programming plans to advertisers. This year he nailed the pie-eyed suspension of disbelief that characterizes each sales job.
    "Remember those shows we were so excited about last fall?" Kimmel said at the ABC session. "We canceled all of them. And yet here you are again. I think you might have a gambling problem."
    Big laughs, perhaps from the hint of recognition.
    Of the 18 new series that debuted last fall on ABC, CBS, NBC and Fox, six survived to make this coming September's schedule ó a batting average of .250. Take away the relatively stable CBS, and it's three out of 13. That doesn't even count shows that appeared in midseason and are already history, such as "The Paul Reiser Show" and Matthew Perry's "Mr. Sunshine."
  36. Ive noticed that over recent months sometimes people have been slipping with regards to following these very simple instructions.

    Its not that difficult really. Just give as much information as possible, itll be easier for everyone in the long run.