Gen X Slacker Surfs Internet All Day

That’s right; it’s true. I am a Generation X slacker who surfs the Internet all day at work and get paid for it. You would think that I would be happy with this situation, but I’m not. I like the fact that I really don’t have to work very hard and I am getting paid an average salary to do it. But, I really am not happy with my “job” or my “career,” as some would call it. Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever had a “career.” No, I’ve always just had job after job after job after job. And we all know what job is an acronym for: JOB = Just Over Broke.

Well, let’s see. I have been fired 12 times in the past 12 years. Although, in all fairness, 5 of those times were kind of a “draw.” In other words, I just decided to stop showing up because I hated working so much. In addition to those 12 times I’ve been fired, I’ve quit 5 other jobs that I’ve had at various times. Part of the trouble is that I just hate to work and part of the trouble is that I have ADHD. I can never really stick with anything for more than six months. I did stick with one of my jobs that I quit for 2 1/2 years. My friends were amazed that I hung on that long. I think I was able to stick with it because I had just graduated from college before I got the job and I didn’t think I would be able to get any other job. That was a sales position and as it turns out, I’m really good at selling crap to people. So I sold people stuff that they didn’t need for 2 1/2 years and then got burned out on dealing with retarded customers complaining about the most inane details. I guess the good thing about that sales job was that I learned that people can truly be stupid and if you don’t want to get walked on in sales, you really have to stand up for yourself. If not, customers will take advantage of every possible weakness you have. But, in the end I made good money at that job and I have at least one job I can put on my resume. I left there because I received a nice settlement for an injury and decided not to work for four months. After the money starting running out, I found my current job through a referral. I’m making about the same amount that I made in sales, but I don’t have to actually do anything now. It’s a pretty nice set-up I guess, but I still hate it. All I really want to do is sit around and watch TV and go out and party at night. I bought my house at just the right time and it has appreciated a lot in just the last 2 years. Because of that, I am going to sell my house and just be lazy for awhile. I’m trying to convince my best friend to go backpack Europe with me next summer. That would be sooooo sweet. Seriously, imagine just backpacking Europe with now responsibilities and without having to work hard at all. In the meantime, though, I have to get my house ready to sell so that I can be lazy. I put in my notice at my current job and my last day in in 2 days! (I’m at work right now…ha ha ha ha ha). I can’t wait until I can sleep in until noon again.

I’ve started working out again, too. I have to because my girlfriend is sick of my shenanigans after five years of it. She is a total type-A personality and she loves to work like 24/7/365. She is always trying to get a million things done and I just like to watch TV, go out to eat, and go out to movies. Don’t get me wrong, I like going scuba-diving, sky-diving, and playing racquetball (because that stuff is fun). But I don’t like anything that has to do with work. Thus, I have to start working out again and get back into shape. I’m sure she won’t put up with my shi* for too much longer. She’ll eventually figure out that I’m not really a go-getter and my only ambitions in life have to do with being lazy, relaxing, and having lots of fun (with no work.) So, I feel bad for anyone that has ever hired or will ever hire me, because I really don’t work at all. Usually, the hardest part of my job is collecting my check. I would probably work harder for myself, though. I would feel more motivation if I thought I was working for something that isn’t benefiting some rich owner of some company. Oh, well. Who really cares, anyways? I mean, really…It doesn’t matter how hard you work, anyways. The only thing that people want when they get to the end of their lives is more time with their friend and family and that’s all I’m about!