H stands for Hell…..Holiday Rental Car job

IF YOU’VE EVER GONE ON VACATION…OR IF YOUR OWN CAR HAS BROKEN DOWN…YOU HAVE PROBABLY NEEDED A HOLIDAY RENTAL CAR. OR AT SOME POINT IN YOUR ADULT LIFE, ODDS ARE GOOD THAT YOU WILL NEED ONE….BE ADVISED. HOW YOU BEHAVE IN FRONT OF ME WILL NOT ONLY DETERMINE HOW MANY MILES YOUR CAR WILL HAVE ON IT, BUT ALSO HOW CLOSE IT MAY PARKED AND HOW LONG YOU MIGHT HAVE TO WAIT.

NO, THIS ISN’T A THREAT, BUT A FACT OF LIFE. AND IF AFTER YOU CHEAP OUT ON ME OR ACT RUDELY DO YOU THINK IT’S ME YOU SHOULD BE ASKING FOR DIRECTIONS? THINK ABOUT IT.

HI THERE, MY NAME IS XXXX AND I WORK FOR THE HOLIDAY RENTAL CAR COMPANY IN A MEDIUM SIZED AIRPORT. WE ARE TO OTHER RENTAL COMPANYS AS NORDSTROMS IS TO KMART. AND IN THIS INDUSTRY, YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR. OCCASIONALLY, EVERBODY GETS A FREE UPGRADE, BUT DON’T EXPECT IT ALL THE TIME.

A NICER PERSON WILL GET TREATED NICELY, AND ASSHOLES GET TREATED ACCORDINGLY ALSO. WE CAN’T COME OUT AND TELL YOU THAT WE DO WORK ON COMMISSION (AS DO MOST OF OUR CUSTOMERS) BUT BUY A VOWEL ALREADY! IF YOU BUY, SAY, THE COMPREHENSIVE OR LIABILITY INSURANCE FROM ME, THE ODDS OF A FREE UPGRADE WENT UP ABOUT 98%,,BUY NOTHING..THE ODDS WENT WAY DOWN..TO ONLY IF I HAVE TO.(HOLIDAY RENTAL CAR COUPON OR NOT)

THIS IS A WIERD AND WONDERFUL AND SOMETIMES AWFUL JOB AT HOLIDAY RENTAL CARS. DEALING WITH THE PUBLIC IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH, BUT SOME OF THESE PEOPLE ARE SMELLY, ORNERY, DRUNK, UNDER AGE, CREDIT POOR, AND SOME ARE TOO RUDE TO GET OFF THE %&@!ING CELL PHONE LONG ENOUGH TO TAKE CARE OF A FIVE MINUTE TRANSACTION. DON’T BE THESE PEOPLE PLEASE!

I AM A HUMAN BEING BEHIND THAT COUNTER. I HAVE A JOB TO DO, AND I TRY TO GIVE EVERYBODY EXCELLENT SERVICE AT HOLIDAY RENTAL CAR. I ALSO HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR AND I’M NOT AFRAID OF YOU…YOU MAY THINK YOU’RE RENTING FROM LITTLE SHRINKING VIOLET THAT YOU CAN INTIMIDATE…BUT ALL OF MY COUNTERPARTS AT WORK ARE WAY TOUGHER THAN YOU THINK.

I HAVE BEEN DOING THIS WORK FOR OVER TEN YEARS AND TRUST ME, WHEN YOU ARE TRAVELING THANKSGIVING DAY WEEKEND (THE BUSIEST TIME OF YEAR FOR OUR BUSINESS) I COULD GIVE A SHIT IF YOU HAVE YOUR TURKEY HOT, WARMED UP, OR NOT AT ALL. WHO TOLD YOU TO TRAVEL ON THE BUSIEST WEEKEND OF THE YEAR?( NOT ME!)

THE AIRPORT HOLIDAY RENTAL CARS ARE OPEN 365 DAYS A YEAR. (NOT ALL ARE 24 HOURS) HOLIDAY, TO US MEANS: I’M WORKING MY ASS OFF FOR AN UNGRATEFUL EMPLOYER AND HELPING MANY MORE UNGRATEFUL CUSTOMERS, AND NOT SPENDING IT WITH MY FAMILY , SO CUT ME A BREAK WILL YOU! WE’LL GET YOU A CAR ASAP. THE RENTAL REPS DON’T BOOK RESERVATIONS, WASH THE CARS, OR PLAN THE FLEET REQUIREMENTS..GO YELL AT THEM, NOT ME!
AND BY THE WAY, IT’S NOT MY FAULT THAT YOU GET STUCK IN TRAFFIC AND NOW HAVE LATE CHARGES, OR FORGOT TO FILL UP THE TANK WITH GAS,,REMEMBER, WE OFFERED YOU THE CHOICE WHEN YOU TOOK THE VEHICLE OUT. AND LATE CHARGES WON’T EVER BE ADJUSTED UNLESS YOU MAY HAVE PURCHASED SOMETHING EXTRA WITH THE CONTRACT SUCH AS AN UPGRADE OR PROTECTION, SO DON’T ASK!(LOOK UP QUID PRO QUO IN YOUR FUNK & WAGNALS)