Unhappiness is happening to me!…software engineer

I’m a software engineer and this is my story:

It’s a lot more involved but for the sake of telling, here it goes.

6 Years ago I moved from Brazil to Australia in a search for better life for my family (wife + 2 kids), which on the overall had happened.
We had a business in Brazil for 10 years, which gave us an upper level way of life, but in a miserable country.

I was the boss of 10 employees and had almost everything I wanted, and best of all, I was sure of myself, confident, etc.

Unhappy with the possibilities Brazil offers to the Youth I thought how great a migration to Australia could be. I so it happened. We moved to Australia, I went back to university at the age of 38, and after 2 years I have restarted my computer career, which by the way, I had stoped to start the business.

I got this job with a small company for 5 years now and on the last 3 years I can barely wake up and drive my self to work, We live in a small city, with are opportunities for software developers. I’m 42 almost 43 and never been so unhappy in my life.
I have no confidence, not sure what to do, have been angry with my kids most of the time. Scream at them almost everyday, my wife a few years ago, said she was interested in someone else, she says she never talked to the guy but couldn’t stop thinking about him. that was a hook that knock me down. A few weeks or even months latter she realise, or so she says, that she still loves me and that she could never think of having someone better than me. I went to a doctor and started taking some antidepressant, which sort of work for a few months until I realised that I was just a little puppet and no one else was trying to do anything to help the situation, it took me a year to get of the medication, which, was the best thing I’ve done for long time.
I’ll tell you something, I realise that a lot of people around the world have worst life or are in a worst situation then I’m now. I also understand that I’m the only one that can do something about it. I’m just feeling to week to do anything.
Everyone at my home makes bad face to me, I can’t say a word to my 12 yo daughter, my 9 yo son is going to the same way, adding to this my wife always find a way to undermine whatever I’m trying to say to my kids.

The very impressive thing is they all disagree with me but end up my opinion being the right, although they would never admit it.

Well, I have to go to work, that I hate with passion, I don’t like the people that I work with, The really only thing a look forward to do in my life currently is play soccer every Tuesday and Thursday with a group of other soccer fans. I love my wife, my kids, but I don’t seem to be able to find a way to be happy with them and to make them happy as well.

I think you all realise by now how confuse I am at the moment. I still have that adolescent dream of find happiness and to be as happy as one could be. But unfortunately I can only see these things happening on movies.
Well I don’t expect anyone to have magical solutions or the final answer for my problems; I was just felling like writing this down and tell someone.

Cheers to everyone.

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