Convenience Store Cashier a Victim of Racism

I have been working in a convenience store in Dublin for 3.5 years so far. It is a quite big store so that we have lots things to do. we are not only staying in the check outs but also we packing a lot when deliveries come and cleaning the shelves and floor. It is a very easy job compare to many other jobs. I was quite enjoyed cause I did not need to ask small money for bus fees and grocery to mom. also I had go to college Monday to Friday so it was just really suit for me to work on Saturday and Sunday as a part time cashier.

But now i feel like I am done cause I am really sick of people. I always try to be friendly and smiley. I even try to satisfy stubborn and demanding customers. But people never appreciate. especially the way of paying the money here is totally upsetting me. I say 30% of people put money on my hand. 20% of people throw money on the counter. 20% of people put the money on the counter softly. and the last 30% of people drop money on my hand and I have observed when the certain people who drop the money on my hands paid to my colleagues who are Irish were totally fine. And I am really really hurt. I think that it is kind of racism. I can see they really afraid of touching my hands so that when they get the change from me they lower lower their hand to far away from my hands.

So one day i decided to put the change on the counter and some people were becoming very unhappy and aggressive. I wore disposable gloves but they still avoid. also when people pay especially elder people throw money noticeably in unpleasant way. the money is literally flown in the air.in my country, if somebody throw money to you like that way,it means he or she really looks down you. but then they say thank you very much.

So do you think this is just kind of cultural things? but still i am so hurtful when so many different type of people(90% of them are Irish people) drop the coin faraway to my hand. i try to think they might be OCD…but they eat apples before rinsing them after buying. they eat bread which was dropped on the floor. I wash my hands more than 15 times during working. my fingers are totally damaged and dried i need hand lotion with me all the times. in here many people drink, smoke and drug whole day long…and so many people not wash regularly. for me,to be honest i don’t wanna touch their hands.

One customer yelled at my Romanian colleague are you f***ing deaf? when she asked him to say it again.
there are quite many lovely people as well. I always chat and laugh with them but how can i serve this arrogant people without hurting myself. I have to work 2 months more in here i think…

Whenever I have to go to work, I got serious headache, no appetite and my skin becomes very bad.. One more thing because of the image of many Asian countries, even friendly customers sometimes upset me.. they think I am very poor even though I tell them my country is one of developed county. I want to say back lots down side things about Ireland and Irish but i just can’t do any bitch things….i still smile or pretend i didn’t hear it.
It’s painful….