The Fear of a Long Term Care Nurse

Its amazing how my career has come around full-cirle. It doesn’t seem like long ago that I was the eager newbie, the one that wanted to make a difference. I envied some of the nurses that I knew that worked the night shift. They had already been where I wanted to be; and that place was hospital nursing. As an LPN, my options were somewhat limited. Either nursing home or Dr’s office. I was full of it. I wanted to do it all. So these seasoned nurses that worked the night shift, well I just didn’t get it. Were they crazy? At the time, I would have given my first born for an opportunity to work a real life floor. I had visions of working helicopter transport, ICU, and Emergency room. I wanted to save everyone and do everything.

How ironic it is that I am back to where I started in LTC. I am a big believer also in Karma. It is interesting that I believe that I now really believe in a higher power. God knows what saved me then is also saving me now.

So here I am again. More experienced, patient, knowledgeable, realistic and caring then I have even been. And it all still sucks, more worse then ever. I fear growing older. I hope that God just strikes me down. It is all about greed and the almighty dollar. More and more tasks shoved off, more and more nastiness from administrators and other shifts, more and more likelihood of lawsuits and just in general guilt even though its not your fault.

Where is the mentoring and the brotherhood? We cannot stand alone, so we vote with our feet.
I do not know how long I can cope with this job in LTC. I feel more through life experiences for my patients and their families than I did all of those years ago.

I wonder where I go from here?
Probably to work, to just do my best, which is all I can.