Some Notes from A Hotel Keeper for Hotel Guests

Notes for hotel guests:

Staying at a hotel while you’re trashed shouldn’t mean you don’t clean up your vomit before checkout.

Please poo in the toilet provided. The windowsill, bed sheets, couches, chairs, etc. are not toilets.

The bars in the center of the glass door are for your hands.

Put your dishes in the sink, rinse them off if you’re not using the dishwasher and detergent we provide.

if you’re going to have a night of passion, please try to make it so we don’t have to wipe the lube off every possible surface.

the hotel isn’t responsible for your drunken tipping, and asking for your money back is not going to endear you to anyone.

when your dog shits in your hotel room, it’s not our job. Clean up after your animals!

Also, if your dog drops a deuce in our lobby, don’t assume someone else will get it – we’re not slaves.

I’m not totally complaining about having a job right now; the economy being as rough as it is here in MI, but oh, how the mighty have fallen. I have a degree and used to make more than triple what I currently bring in.

I’m not even a full housekeeper, I’ll say that outright. I do the laundry, hallways, outside cleaning, and the random jobs the regular housekeepers don’t do, like under your A/C unit cover so the accumulated dust, mold, and animal hair don’t blow around and make the room stink. I’ve also had to clean all the ovens in the hotel (extended stay style!).

As a laundry person, I used to always use gloves, and I mean always! Then I ran out and the supervisor never ordered more. I have to touch everyone’s nasty sheets and towels without gloves, washing my hands countless times a day in the MI winter where the air is so dry, I’ve got skin splitting apart across my thumbs and kuckles. I have to pick up cigarrette butts from wherever they end up with my hands, empty hotel trash bins that are on the outside, weed the landscaping, pick up the litter in 100 degree heat and below zero temps, sweep the curbs of debris… there is literally no end to my work, especially when the kids or ignorant foreigners are in town.

It’s good, honest work – if you’re tough enough.