Already Disillusioned……nurse

I was a secretary for 20 years before becoming a nurse, I thought I would do it because it would be rewarding doing work that meant something to someone, not just paperwork….

I’ve been a nurse for about 5 years and I’m already disillusioned with it. My first year I worked in a small hospital on the med-surg floor which had patients from general surgical to cardiac, renal and pediatric patients. I had enough of that when they started giving me 8-10 patients on the day shift!!

So then I went into Hospice and did that for about 3 years. It was a breath of fresh air compared to hospital nursing, but after awhile you get depressed because all your patients die… SO then I got this bright idea, I’ll go back to the hospital, WRONG CHOICE!!

Now I’m working for a home health/hospice agency…It’s not as nerve racking as the hospital, (a little slower paced) but I feel like I’m working all the time. I work all day, driving 65-150 miles a day to see patients, and then there is the paperwork that you just can’t do at the home during the visit. So, I get home around 5:30pm or 6:00 and I’m up til 10:00pm doing paperwork. I feel like I’m working for free and working all the time. Then in home health you have some patients that, although they’ve been a diabetic for 20 years, for some reason can’t give their insulin, so you have to see them 7 days a week.

I’m just at my wits end. I’d like to find a place in nursing that I’m happy.. I’m 44 years old, so nursing was a mid-life change of career, I’m thinking about going back to school for something else possibly law school, I may be 55 when I graduate… I’ve got a mountain of student loans that I’m trying to pay off….Somedays I just want to call in sick, you know take a mental health day.. but I feel bad because someone else would have to take my patients.. plus I wouldn’t get paid the measly $18.50 per patient….I get more for Recerts or Start of care’s but not that much more…I’ve looked into internet businesses maybe I’ll find something, I don’t think I can do this much longer.