nursing shortage, the reason is simple……PICU nurse

I graduated from nursing school in 1979 and easily got my first job in a teaching hospital in acute care pediatrics. I was young and stupid and didn’t put 2 and 2 together that while I hated nursing school and all the “BS” I would also hate nursing. I have not worked since 1990 because I was literally killed emotionally, spiritually and physically by this career.

If anyone wants to know why there is a nursing shortage it’s really pretty easy, NO ONE WANTS TO DO IT!!! The real clincher is you work with other miserable people and wonder all along if others are hating it as much as you. (A good indication is when you start a new job and your preceptor keeps saying things like, “I hate this job.”)

I worked in the PICU and also did transport and trauma. Have you ever asked someone in another profession if they ever feel guilty that someone is going to die because they dared to stuff a half a sandwich down after not eating or drinking until they felt like they were going to pass out, or do they have to ask someone to watch “their work” so they can go to the bathroom, or are they so tired after staying up for days that they are hallucinating, and this while lives are at stake.

Another thing that destroyed me was when my patients died and instead of getting a break or even a pat on the back I just got another patient. This is outside the range of being normal. I think nurses suffer terribly and from things like PTSD. We work in carnage!!! This is not normal. Things are not going to change and we are all looking at being “cared for” in some scummy hole by jaded caretakers.

Yes we are jaded for the reasons I just wrote. Think of how a “normal” person reacts to just going to a funeral, try doing it on a daily basis and having to act like it’s the most normal thing in the world. Death and dying are a part of life but so is the sympathy and understanding that usually goes along with it. It’s not normal to live your life in the greiving process and try to act like this is life.

Anyone who is in nursing school right now and/or mired in debt and doesn’t think there is anyway out think again. There is always another path. Don’t throw your life away like I did. I ended up getting a large settlement from a medical malpractice suit after becoming suicidal and being abused by a doctor. Now I am facing having to work again and the prospect of anything that has to do with nursing is nightmarish.

I am in a legal nurse consulting program and just reading the message board with all the pukey nursing enthusiasm (yes we that hate nursing know what I am referring to) I thought, “I have to have some commissuration”, so I typed “nurses hating nursing” into my search engine and came onto this site. I hate to discourage people into nursing but I will give my honest opinion when asked and finally I have found some validation for my own feelings after so many years of total anguish. Maybe some of you can relate to this, it is almost a sin in some circles to say you hate something as sacred as nursing. You may think hate is a strong word but I wish I could think of something stronger, like HATE TO THE MILLIONTH POWER!!!

Don’t get me wrong I was a superb nurse, but I absolutley despised every second working as a nurse. Now I live a life being so damaged by this profession. If you hate nursing like this do not feel like you are alone, there is at least myself and I am not a crummy person. In fact I am a Christian and very loving and smart (Summa Cum Laude graduate) sensitive and talented (and like I’ve read no I am not obese, unattractive, nor do I live on coffee and junk food). Please do not wait until you are 53 years old like I am to decide on a career move. Love yourself as much as we have loved our patients and get out while you can. Take it from me it is NEVER too late.